its not that i try
to be
dramatic
and awkward
i was born
that way

all i want
is what
(i was going to say
"what everyone wants"
but i don't know
even what i want
much less
what you want)
is for life
to be easy

happy
free
beautiful

the problem is
(because with me
there must be a problem)
wanting

in wanting
i forget
what those words
happy
free
beautiful
even mean