Good point Lisa!

Lisa, thanks for calling me. Thank you for saying to me "your last blog post read a lot like criticism of your friends" because it did. I apologize to all of you my friends who I was criticizing. I was coming from a place of sadness, coming from a place that is really me, that is the sad little boy who can't understand why his life is not CONSTANTLY filled with friends.

I have a very high need to have people around all the time. This need comes from some inner judge that uses some fantasized ideal that says I am only a good person and have a good life when I am CONSTANTLY surrounded by friends and in interaction. I also get approval needs met while I am in CONSTANT interaction. All of this creates in me a much higher need for interaction than most others have.

So, when I am not in that interaction I judge myself negatively and begin to wonder what is wrong with me. And then I think, why don't people like me. And then I am in a sad, negative spiral where I am looking at the world through sad lenses.

At that point, I have two choices - one, look at what it is about me that creates in me this need to have constant interaction AND not be satisfied with the interactions I do have and two, blame other people for not meeting MY needs.

So, I do apologize, but not redact, my over focus in the previous post on criticizing others' level of reaching out to me. My needs are high, it is about me, not about all of you, my friends, and I appreciate all that you bring to me, all the love you give, all the energy you send my way and all the reaching out you do. Thank you.

And thank you Lisa, you helped bring me out of my funk. Thanks for paying attention.