Its been a while...random musings on Xmas morning

I just noticed that it has been quite a few days since I last blogged. I think that part of that is I have been very expressive in my poetry and that has been my outlet for thoughts and feelings. My confessional. The cool thing is that I believe I am writing some really cool and powerful spoken word poetry. I say spoken word because I think it comes out much better spoken than just read.

Well, today is Christmas! I like today b/c we get to exchange gifts. It is about the only part of the holiday we celebrate and are happy that it is that way. I mean we enjoy putting up a few lights on the inside of our house and maybe some cute decorations. We bought a foot high natural tree that we can replant after the holidays - so we get into the festive spirit a little bit. If you were to ask me what I am celebrating I would say it is the relationships that I am blessed to have in my life.

I love the holidays so much b/c it is a time when everyone gets together to eat and drink and talk and be social and thankful and in good spirits. Even as someone who is not Christian I still think this time of rest and renewal and celebration is very important for us as humans.

So, I got Beth three gifts...a track suit (which she did not ask for but I think she will like) an Aveda travel pack for our trip to Europe (again she did not ask for it but I think she will like it) and one that I am a little nervous about. Honestly, I think the salesman did a good job of selling me and I got her this very pretty skirt that I think she will like from a looks point of view but I don't think is her style exactly. We shall see though b/c I think she would look great in it! Wish me luck!

She is still sleeping and we have not opened gifts yet. We did open some from her mom last night.

Why I am up? Well, I have not been taking very good physical care of myself over the last couple of weeks. I have been exercising but my eating has not been great and I have been in some pain from neck/back stuff and just not taken care of it. So, I woke this morning with nervous energy which I know is from not having good things in my body.

The best I can over the next two weeks I am really going to work to detox myself a little bit. I am going to cut out caffeine and try to reduce my intake of refined sugars and processed foods. I think we can do that even beginning this morning b/c yesterday we went grocery shopping for our breakfast this morning and purchased healthy foods.

You know it is tough. On the down side I know I am about 6.5 pounds over where I was when we were married three years ago (2 pounds a year, that is typical American male) but I want to get back down to at least my marriage weight. But then I think "well it is all in how beautiful that I see myself and if I see myself beautiful that is all that matters".

On a side note I had a little epiphany this week. You see our ability to accept others is all dependent on the level to which we accept ourselves and our ability to love others is all dependent on the level to which we love ourselves. It seems simple, but it is powerful. You see if I come to a place where I am more accepting about my own body I will be more able to accept and love other people no matter what their body type is.

Okay, so anyway, going back to the health thing. Why I need to make a dietary change is less about how I look (although there is a big part of that) and a lot about how I feel physically. I mean, I have a hard time falling asleep and I have a hard time controlling my appetite and my body feels sore and achy. It is just not a good place to be. So, that is why I want to control it. And, I start today. No more excuses, I am just going to go do it.

My Christmas gift to myself =)