Avoiding work

It is amazing how when I look at some of my behaviors it comes up being a form of "what's missing/envy".

This morning at work I spent the whole time not working but researching a wireless connection for speakers from my PC. Literally, I did not do any work at all. I returned several personal emails and had a long personal phone call, but not work.

See, the searching for the wireless speaker connection was a way to avoid work that fits right in with me looking for what is missing. I don't have wireless speakers now and I want them. I think that life would be better with wireless speakers and therefore I need them now. Because I am missing something I am drawn to it obsessively. The amount of obsessive energy I have put into this over the last two days is incredible. It would not be so bad if it were on my personal time; but it is on my work time. That is really unacceptable.

So, when I start thinking about these PC speakers I am going to breathe and relax in the moment...no next, just breathe and relax in the moment.

It is 12:30 now and I am on my lunch break. I am going to spend 10 more minutes doing speaker research and then shut that off, and work.