I am depressed. It seems weird to be sad when life is going fairly well. However, I am worn out, tired, withdrawn emotionally, unfocused and uncentered. I could go into all the reasons why, but it seems a little pointless. It just is what it is.
So, I am rolling with the down. It isn't exactly fun, last night I was nearly in tears on the drive home. But, I don't have the energy to fight my way out of it. I also don't have the energy to try to "figure it out." Oh well.
I am also feeling sensitive and self analysis is too close to self judgement for me to deal with right now. I don't think I could handle criticism right now, internal or external. My ego feels fragile.
It is helpful to acknowledge my sadness; I am able to then understand the lens through which I am perceiving the world. Knowing I am sensitive right now helps me take things less personally.
Sigh...
Thankfully the sadness isn't constant and doesn't permeate everything. In the midst of it there are moments of happiness, times of ease. I recognize life is good. This is about me, not about the world. And, despite my current mood, I know both me and the world are doing okay.
And I know there will be a day, very soon, in which this melancholy will pass. Until then it is okay to be sad and okay to be down; it is all part of the cycle.
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