Taken from an email to a friend

I just don't know right now. And I am kind of getting tired of trying to figure it out. I think there are some underlying issues with me right now, but they seem to be the same underlying issues I have dealt with for years. And they are uncomfortable, and scary, and emotional, and I just don't feel like dealing with them right now.

So, I am charging ahead at 1000 miles an hour, not centered, all over the place for lots of reasons...although it kind of all boils down to approval. But, I am having fun and I don't really feel like stopping...maybe I am going to burn out, but I think there will be a natural shift over the holidays and then into the early next year. I have two weeks off over Christmas, then we go to Costa Rica in January. I will rest then, actually I will begin resting over Thanksgiving, but the real rest will come later.

A lot has to do with my job and the insane pace I have been keeping at work for almost 7 months. That will slow down soon.

So yes, there is something going on with me, but I just don't want to deal with it right now. And I am okay with that. Over the holidays I will probably process the last couple of months, which have been very intense personally and professionally. Until then I am going to barrel on and just enjoy the ride!

Normally I would be trying to figure it all out, discet every reason. Ignoring my feelings and intuition is different for me, it is spurning my natural instincts, but I figure, heck, why not try! =)