Scattered

I should not be blogging at work. I have quite enough to keep me very busy all day long. Yet, I am drawn to post my thoughts, I need to get them out of my brain. There is a lot bouncing around up there right now, in my head, scattered all over the place. With so much happening in my life I have a lot to think about. Writing clears my mind and slows my thinking. I will work more productively once I get these thoughts out.

My life is full of activities right now. At work I run from meeting to meeting and am out of the office conducting presentations as much as I am in. There are phone calls and emails to answer, people constantly stopping in my office to ask for help or check on a project. In between all of that, I am managing two big campaigns while simultaneously coordinating the Loaned Exec program, which currently includes evaluations, a program debrief and an appreciation event. I cannot recall when I had more than 30 minutes to sit and work on a single project!

My personal life is just as fast and furious: time with Beth, meeting, phoning and emailing friends, seeing shows, mountain biking, creating video blogs, cleaning the house, applying for grad school, volunteering and the list goes on. Phew!

While it is a little crazy, I am having a lot of fun. It is overwhelming, but I create it and I don't want it to stop. For example, I stayed up late last night putting together my new video post. It is fun and gets me excited and I want to make it happen right now! I hate waiting, I worry I might miss something, so I would rather go, go, go and try to experience as much of life as I can. While it is enriching it also leaves me at times feeling frantic and unsettled.

But I know, it is what it is. And right now I don't want it any other way. It is tiring but that is the price I pay. Like an endurance runner, I am pushing myself to the edge of what I can handle in the hope that my "training" will allow me to handle more. And like an endurance runner, I am addicted. I love all the activity and am addicted to living my life at such a crazy pace. Why not push myself while I can, there will be time for relaxing when I retire.

And don't worry, I will survive!