Trying hard is hard.

I swing from one intensely good mood to one intensely bad mood in single breaths. The entire existence of a universe of fantasy and feeling, from beginning to end, is created in my mind, analyzed, dissected, and most importantly, felt.

When I tell people about these universes it often ends up bad.

Many times, actions are less consistent then words. My words move and dance so quickly, my feelings flicker in the wind, changing color, heat and intensity. Sometimes a roaring tempest and sometimes a trickle. I would like to say my actions are less fickle but then I think I am deluding myself.

I think the problem is I want to make the moment more beautiful. I should try to just see that it doesn't need any improvement.